Miscellaneous

Molesty to Modesty

Crimes against women have continued unabated in Haryana. According to a statement presented before the assembly, a total of 2,715 cases of various crimes against women were registered, which comes to about 67 cases per day of these cases 917 are cases of rape, molestation and sexual harassment.

These brutal rapists leave the Victims in the hollow chambers of society. Instead of showing hospitality towards them, they are looked upon as a black mark on society. Unfortunately, the victims live a life of guilty.

But humanity still finds its way out in the real world. One of such rape survivor is blessed with a person who challenged this taboo.

Per a story that appeared in “The Times Of India”. A 29-year-old farmer, Jitender Chhatar, from Jind district in Haryana, married a rape survivor in December, 2015. The family of girl had approached Jitender and his family with the marriage proposal. Jitender’s family agreed to their proposal even after knowing that she was raped and abused.

Jitender not only married her but also has joined her fight for justice. He has also enrolled her in a Law Course so that she knows that she’s getting proper justice. After becoming a lawyer he wants her to help other rape survivors. They have also started a platform called “Youth Against Rapes”.

Neeraj, a coaching class owner with four others which included a woman have repeatedly been blackmailing Jitender and his wife. Police managed to caught the woman red-handed who had come to Panipat to get an installment of extortion money. The case was then shifted to Jind and other accused were also arrested.

Neeraj, the main culprit have also offered Rs 70 Lakh for a compromise as the other  accused are arrested. Jitender and his wife have been repeatedly threatened. Neeraj has also filled two false case against  Jitender.

But Jitender is actively fighting for Justice. Jitender is now seeking the help of Haryana Chief Minister Manohar Lal Khattar.

Jitender has been setting an extraordinary example for the society to follow. Our society needs more man like him who can dare to fight off the taboo.

Picture source – indianexpress.com

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Sex: As Natural As Poop!

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A word as simple as “Sex”, is refused to be said out loud by a lot of people because of the taboos attached to it. Sex seems like the Lord Voldemort of the Muggle world (Harry Potter Reference), where everyone knows that it exists but no one dares to speak about it, at least not in the open. Where Censor Board in our country tries to blur the scenes and ban the movies that show even the slightest potential to be screened for “adults”, on the other hand we also have people trying to do the “Kiss of Love”, First Youtube Video to show Indian people kissing the same sex, and other kind of social experiments to make others aware about Sexuality. It seems like a hypocrisy to the country that has given birth to things like Kamasutra, sculptures in Khajurao etc to not talk about sex and label it against the culture. It should rather be the other way round!

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One needs to understand that fantasy is a natural part in any human life. Our goals, our passion, our dreams somewhere, somehow are a part of the fantasy world that we want to live in. This can even expand to our sexual needs. One might fantasize by watching porn movies, soft porn, movies that showcase nudity, by touching oneself, or even by looking at something. All of it falls under the umbrella of NORMAL Fantasies which come natural to human beings. One needs to draw line when it comes to glorification of sex or accessing activities that advertise rape or other unacceptable actions. Many Psychologists believe that if a person can watch porn, they have an unconscious desire or a potential to rape as well, whereas others believe that porn addresses merely to pleasure and nothing more than that! I guess it all comes down to an Individual. No one is a born rapist. One needs to develop self-control and understand that pleasures like Masturbation, touching oneself, and watching porn need to be one’s own business!

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Not talking about the hormonal and bodily changes to people close to oneself might lead to sexual tensions and curiosities that you yourself might not be able to find answers to. Keeping it to oneself will lead to nothing more than sexual tensions, weird thoughts and anxiety. One needs to share what one feels, what one thinks and what one experiences to someone close, be it family, friends or anyone close and trusted in general. Watching porn, Masturbation, Attraction, Love are all very natural feelings that have been coming to the human beings even before fire was discovered. There is no shame in accepting what you are! There is no shame in doing things that everyone refuses to talk about. Dialogue makes it a lot easier! When we were kids, we used to refer to pooping as “number 2”, it is the same phenomena! If we wouldn’t have talked about it at the right age we wouldn’t have been potty trained correctly. The interaction allowed us to refer to “number 2” as poop, openly. If we can overcome that shyness, then why not this! Sex is as natural as POOP!

 

Take Care!

 

 

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Sex and it’s myths.

At the tender age of 12, a boy or even a girl’s mind doesn’t think much above sex. It’s mostly in the case of boys but let’s not be sexist here.aid421997-728px-Cope-With-Sex-Education-Step-2-Version-2

These boys, who at the peak of their curiosity seemed to be eager to talk and know everything even remotely related to sex. They try all means to find out as much as they can. So by the age of approximately 16, their heads are full of information about sex but this information may not always be right. Their particular facts come from everywhere from word of mouth to porn.

As most adolescents spend most of their puberty period watching porn, they start to have unrealistic expectations about sex.  So much so that most teenagers feel that women are extremely flexible and can almost turn in any direction. These unrealistic expectations usually lead to massive amounts of disappointment and dissatisfaction when they finally lose their virginity.

A lot of women when finally are at the platform where they are ready to lose their virginity, find themselves at the step of disappointment because most women do not orgasm when they have sex for the first time but most people are unaware of this.

What’s more is that porn is made up of a Utopian world where both men and women have the perfect bodies and everything they do feels like a million crackers bursting out in the sky, while in reality sometimes it’s just an awkward act because none of you or one of you can’t reach their ecstasy point.

Most of these things are learnt by teenagers because their knowledge comes from only hearsay and porn. One myth goes to huge lengths in putting corrupt knowledge in the minds of these not so innocent kids.

So sex is a lot of things most teenagers aren’t even aware of, that’s why we need sex education in India, we need them to know, we need them to expect the right things and not get disappointed when they are actually in that situation.

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Sex: As a Taboo

What is sex? This question seems to be hitting the minds of adolescents way too soon and for a long time they roam around with doubts bubbling in their heads. Then like an angel from the heaven above, almost always, as friend comes in porn wipes away all their doubts by parting their wisdom.

This is what we have left our generation to do? To figure this out themselves?

Sex education is very important because at the time of puberty the hormones are in full gear. The sexual needs are starting to come up and most adolescents are unaware of how to  treat it. Most people at this age supress their sexual needs a lot because of embarrassment and the uncomfortable feeling this unfamiliarity follows. While some others, involve in sexual activities excessively. The risk of getting pregnant runs high in such people because they are very unaware of what they are doing and don’t understand the repercussions.

The need for making these adolescents understand the importance of practicing safe sex is very high. Thus sex education183056006 comes in handy but in India, most people believe that if they provide these teenagers with sex education, that would just encourage them further to involve in sexual activities.

The truth is that teenagers today are having sex. So the whole idea of not talking about it, not addressing it all or even mentioning anything related to it, is plain old stupid. The stigma over sex is so high that the word sex itself sends ripples of disapproval in the Indian society.   But sex is normal, it’s a natural process for the fulfilment of our needs. It’s not something that should be closed behind a door never to be addressed again. Although it should be done behind closed doors.

Our schools need to address this subject because the importance of sex education is at an all time high. So let’s get over this stupid stigma and accept sex as natural.

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Sex is a Myth

 

With the current situation of Sexual education in India, Sex does not seem less than a myth. Like Unicorn, Santa Claus, Global Warming (Sarcasm!), sex in our country looks like something that only happens in western countries. With the recent outrage against the censor board of India upon banning a movie because of certain foul language and “indecent” story line it is pretty clear that how open our society is about discussing issues it is uncomfortable with. This discomfort in no way takes away the right of youngsters to lessen their curiosity by asking questions, by exploring their sexuality or through visuals. Even the misconception that sex education only talks about sexual intercourse needs to be dealt with. The genders, genitals, hormonal changes, good-touche & bad-touch all collectively form a very intense curriculum for a holistic sex education.

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This week we cover Sex Education as a whole to help all the young ones find answers they might not be able to ask comfortably. Also to tell all the “Adults” that Sex isn’t a stigma, but Ignorance is.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiIxkOah09E)

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiIxkOah09E

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Helping to Cope with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

This week, we have been talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  For those who still aren’t all too familiar with this, let me explain once again. When a person goes through a particularly traumatic event, they sometimes are left to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Typical symptoms include extreme anxiety, flashbacks, out of control thoughts and nightmares, amongst other things. Seeking treatment for PTSD is imperative since it can lead to psychological damage in the long term. Symptoms tend to become stronger, and sometimes, the condition ends up lasting for years after the traumatic incident.

It is important to help a person who suffers from PTSD. But for that to happen, one needs to be able to recognize the conditions. Some common things to look out for include fretfulness, unreasonable guilt, depression, etc. People going through PTSD also tend to avoid places and situations related to their trauma. Some other unusual symptoms include, disturbed sleep, getting startled very easily, sudden angry outbursts and tension.

But how do you actually help said person? What are the things you can do? Fret not (pun intended). Your answer lies here. Getting familiar with the disorder is the biggest means of helping, because then you can relate to the person. Help the person calm themselves by encouraging soothing activities. Go for a walk with them, or join yoga or meditation lessons. Do make sure to participate in the activity with the person, as this will let them know that you’re with them in it.

Talk to the person about their thoughts and encourage them to do the same with others. Try to increase time spent with family and other loved ones since that is known to help people suffering from anxiety and depression, some of the key factors of PTSD. If the person doesn’t want to connect with them, try having them connect with someone who’s been through the same; talking to another PTSD victim, someone who’s been through the same helps to get better.

One thing to keep in mind is that while you’re dedicated to the care of your loved one, and want them to be able to have a happy life, do not forget to take care of yourself either. Being able to cope with the disease without letting yourself drown in it is an equally important part of helping those who suffer.

Be your best self, and help the ones you love be the same!

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Modern-land Criminals?

The world has shrunk in size with the onset of the Virtual World. It isn’t just easier to access any kind of information only about world affairs. One can even extract the history of any individual in just a click. Privacy has become a myth like Santa and unicorns. As the residents in this virtual world, we shouldn’t only be worried about chain snatching, theft, burglary in a crowded street in day light! That is old school. Now, it is the time of stealing, cheating, bullying without even practically being present at a place. “Haath Ki Safaai”, as a Magician might put it!

eCrime or Cyber Crime or Cyber Bullying, one can refer to this internet abuse in many ways. Hacking, spreading rumors, Intimidating or threat emails, Mobbing Individual, Harassment, Stalking, looking into private details, online theft or fraud or espionage, all fall under the category of online anti-social behavior intended to cause harm, distress or loss to other individual. Every individual living in the virtual world is a potential target to the heinous crime but eCrime is like AIDS, in which no one believes that they can be affected by it! Not only as a target or a victim but even as a Bully.

‘Peer Pressure’ is an amazing concept. You do something you don’t wish to. It can make you do something very positive, it can make you feel alive. On the other hand, it can make you do something so distressing that you might not be able to forgive your own self. One might think that they are not a Cyber Bully but you might want to think again! Even if it is about a simple chain of messages that hurts somebody’s emotions, if you laugh at it or share it with friends and family, somewhere you become a part of the Bullying. Like an onlooker who is as much at fault as the person who commits a crime, similarly, a person who shares the offensive stuff on internet is equivalent to a bully.

Information-Technology Act, 2000 addresses all the new age crimes and computer abuses. When we come to the technical aspect of a cyber crime, we can distinguish the cyber attacks in two broad categories, one where device is used as a target, where one computer attacks the other like in hacking, Virus and DOS attacks and other where the device is used as a weapon like in Cyber Terrorism, IPR violations, Credit card frauds, EFT frauds, Pornography etc.!images (1)

As scary as it might sound but it is not very difficult to avoid such crimes against oneself. The thumbrule is to stick to the basics and take all necessary precautions. One shall definitely talk to someone you trust, one might be a parent, a teacher, a friend or anyone else. One should also be smart enough to be able to report the bullying to the Internet Service Provider (ISP) or mobile phone provider. Blocking the messages and emails is also a step towards curbing the bullying, where one can later ask for help. Taking screenshot and noting down the number to report it to the police is another smart step! Universities and Colleges today even have Zero Tolerance rule and Cyber Cells to monitor all these online anti-social activities. One needs to be aware about them too! The most important rule is to remember to not share one’s personal details and think carefully about each step one makes online.

Silence is another form of crime that one commits. It does nothing but boosts the morale of the sinner. One must know how to voice their opinions and seek for help, when required. Cyber-Crimes are the most recent and the most dangerous type of crime one can commit today. Internet, is a boon to the contemporary man, where all the information and entertainment comes on the doorsteps in just a few clicks. Let us not make it a bane for ourselves. As responsible human beings, it is our duty to make World Wide Web save for us as well as for others so that we can enjoy the benefits it bestows us!

Happy Browsing! Safe Browsing!

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India’s Groundwater is in Crisis: NASA

The environment and its problems are ignored the most in our country. While everybody is focused on corruption and anti-national activities, people ignore our most basic and life threatening problems such as the fast depleting ground water. The groundwater in India is exploited everyday to an alarming level for the purpose of irrigation and domestic use. While we in our homes, take showers for hours at end and leave the tap running while brushing our teeth, hydrologists around the world and in India are in panic over the disastrous depletion which is happening at a pace much faster than the replenishing rate. NASA’s Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment (GRACE) has been a primary reason for reaching this conclusion.

Major steps need to be taken to prevent this fast approaching disaster which will result in complete collapse and failure of agricultural output and availability of potable water, destroying the lives of 114 million residents of our nation.

What is Ground Water?

It is the water that is found beneath the soil. Typically contained among the permeable rock, sand and clay, the reserves can be found to expand to over hundred feet. Many times these reserves are created due to accumulation of water over thousands of years. This happens when the water percolates through the soil and reached these areas. Typically this is replenished by the water that falls on the surfaces during rainfall and other natural processes.

Image Source: www.gptx.org

Image Source: www.gptx.org

It is one of those sources of water which is unaffected by changes in weather. Since no direct evaporation, condensation and precipitation happens here, it can only be replenished by water that percolates through the soil. To maintain a stable water table, there needs to be a balance between the replenishing rate and the usage. Since there are limited ways of recharging the groundwater, it takes much longer to replenish it.

GROUND WATER IN INDIA

The ground water reserves in India are at an all-time low. States such as Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, Haryana and Punjab are the worst affected. These are those states which have a heavy population that needs water, and are in a phase of rapid economic development. More importantly, Punjab and Haryana and other parts of North western India are the fertile areas and are the grain producing states. These states were the biggest beneficiaries of the Green Revolution which is believed to be another reason for this quick depletion. Agriculture and irrigation are known to use approximately 95% of the groundwater in these regions.

The data available with the Indian Ministry of Water Resources has indicated that the usage rate of ground water is much higher than the replenishing rate.

Image Source: www.livemint.com

Image Source: www.livemint.com

A study conducted by Hydrologists in NASA with the help of GRACE has provided data on this. Based on analysis of six years of monthly data acquired through GRACE, they found that the ground water has been declining much faster, at the rate of one foot peer year. According to this data, the water extradition at its current rate is not sustainable in India. The rate of fast declining water will affect the agricultural production and make for life in India very difficult. This research was done after taking into account several other factors such as storage in lakes and reservoirs, vegetation, glaciers and soil moisture. No natural factor could be found to explain the depletion. The only reason to be found was human activity.

PREVENTIVE MEASURES

There are things that people in their ordinary lives can do to help this problem and make it less of a threat. Simple lifestyle changes are available. Here are some things you can do at your home:

  1. It’s natural for faucets and toilets to develop leaks and drips. Rather than ignoring it, get it fixed. Tons of water is wasted when you let the leak be and don’t fix it.
  2. Be mindful of your baths. No, you don’t need to spend half an hour showering. You can clean yourself equally well if you come out of the shower in ten minutes. Using fifty liters where you could have done with twenty liters will not make you cleaner, it will only make you waste more.
  3. Be careful of the chemicals you use around the house and their disposal. Avoid using chemicals wherever possible and be very careful during disposal. A common habit in the Indian masses is to dump the waste outside the house. This is disastrous for the environment and the water levels. Chemicals should be disposed properly.
  4. Avoid letting the water run. This is the biggest cause of wastage of water. Many people have an annoying habit of letting the water run while their brushing their teeth, or shaving or washing utensils. Shut the water off when you don’t need it. It’s a resource you can’t live without so avoid wasting it however possible.
  5. Indulge in water harvesting. It’s a simple process and the tools and material required for water harvesting is very easily available. All you need to do is put in a little effort. Water harvesting will save you a lot of money and help the environment a great deal especially in the monsoon season.
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JK Rowling – The Fandom’s Favourite

Everyone’s heard about her. You would know her as the author of Harry Potter, the most selling fantasy novel series in the history of the world. She’s one of the most richest women in the world, with a legacy that grows every second of every year as more and a more children discover the magic of her writing. What most people don’t know, however, is that once upon a time she was just Jo, newly divorced, mother of a baby daughter and a very poor woman desperate for survival.

This is the not the usual, run off the mill , rags to riches story. This is a story about a woman hitting rock bottom and living to tell the tale.

As far as backstories go, Rowling had a pretty unremarkable childhood. She was born in Scotland, in The United Kingdom, to two unremarkable parents. She was closer to her mother and was always at heads with her father. She was a studious child with a conscientious temper and went to college like all the good children.

After stepping out into the real world was when Rowling’s problems really started. She and her husband, whom she had married early, started having problems. Things became so bad that she had to file a restraint order against her own spouse and soon, Rowling found herself alone, with a little baby by the name of Jessica to look after, with almost nothing to her name.

Rowling then proceeded to hit rock bottom.

She had no money. She had a baby and babies were expensive. She was so poor she had to depend on social security to make sure she could put food on the table and her flat was broken into by burglars. Her mother died.

Rowling said that as a child, a thing that had terrified her had been failure. To have nothing and be nothing, according to her, was worse than anything. And it happened to her and she could do all but nothing, helpless to its assault.

This was the time when Jo became J.K Rowling. She realised she had failed at life, just like she had feared, and that she was still alive and that she could do nothing but to go on like usual, because she still had a daughter whom she adored and an old typewriter and big ideas. She realised that failure helped her liberate herself from the expectation she had burdened herself with and be somebody who she really was, a woman dreaming about a small boy wizard named Harry.

Failure made her a survivor rather than a victim, a realist rather than a fantasist. She had infinite opportunities before her and there was nowhere to go but up.

Her book script was rejected by twelve publishing houses. The last one, the fated one, had a child read the story for evaluation. The child demanded more. The book was published. The rest, as they say, is history.

This is the not the usual, run off the mill, rags to riches story. This is a story about a woman finding freedom in failure.

This is a story about a hero.

What we achieve inward will change our reality

-Plutarch, as quoted by J.K Rowling in her Harvard speech.

 

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Park Street Rape Survivor

May be it’s not about the happy ending, maybe it’s about the story.

Rape is very clearly defined in the Indian Penal Code. It defines the act of Rape, and the punishment that follows. What it doesn’t define is the emotional, physical, and mental destruction of the survivor. It defines the punishment for the offender, but it does not define the punishment that the survivor undergoes everyday after the scarring event. The Indian law also offers the cloak of anonymity to the unfortunate victim, which is usually accepted by the victims. But there was one woman, who shed the cloak of shame, and made herself synonymous with hope for the countless who suffer silently. This article is about Suzette Jordan, often referred to as Park Street Rape Victim, a connotation she hated being associated with. Suzette Jordan was as unconventional as they come. Hailing from an Anglo-Indian family, where most of her family members were teachers, she refused to study after high school and got married instead. Her marriage unfortunately bit the dust, and she wound up taking care of her two daughters as a single mother. She wasn’t supported by her family, but she was indifferent to that. She was always fun loving and refused to lose touch with her exuberant side. On that fateful night, she went to a five star restaurant in Park Street to meet up with her friend, who was unusually late that night. So she decided to leave, and got lift from a man. She later said that it was the biggest mistake she ever committed, as she was gang raped on gun point by the men in the car. After living in anonymity for over an year, she decided to come out in public with her ordeal, to speak against the Rape of a college student. She has been instrumental in garnering awareness for her cause by organising rallies, attended talk shows, and took on the mantle of a counsellor for many victims of sexual and physical assault. She became more than just the park Street victim, she became the park Street survivor. She succumbed to encephalitis on 13th March 2015, after becoming the face and voice of rape victims everywhere. I must correct myself here, Rape Survivors, and not victims.

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