It seemed like a normal train ride, and maybe it was a normal train ride. I was going from Chandigarh to Delhi, feeling happy about finally going home. I was very comfortable travelling alone and did not have any fear in my heart, call me brave or call me just another victim of circumstance. I had traveled in this train a million times and hence was very used to it. Usually while traveling I kept myself busy with a book or a movie and hence did not get the time to actually look out into the lives of other people as we passed through their towns.
This time, nothing kept my attention, I felt restless and thus thought maybe looking out the window will provide me the peace I was looking for. I looked out of the window of the train, we were at some random station, I saw a group of approximately 6 men looking at me. What traumatized me weren’t their stares but the look on their faces as they stared, it looked like I was a delicious piece of chicken being offered to dogs. What troubled me more is that they didn’t look away even they saw that I could see them looking at me, it felt like it was their right t look at me and I was committing a huge crime by making them feel uncomfortable about it. The train that had seemed safe suddenly dissolved into being dangerous. I looked away but they didn’t. I tried to distract myself by watching a movie but my mind kept replaying their stares.
That train journey was a revelation, it made me realize what really is the state of women in our society. I had heard and written a many articles of the change in the thinking of Indians but in that moment I realised, those are just words. While the inking has changed in many places, it stays the same in some. Women are still seen as sex objects, put on earth only and only for the gratification of men.
I am a law student, who has worked for NGOs and trying to make a difference in society. But for them , I was just a piece of meat , an object for gratification. My thoughts, my ideals didn’t matter to them. To them, I wasn’t a human being with worth. This is the society we live in, this is what is India made up of. We do have many people fighting for change in mentality and it would eventually come but do we really have to be victims to glares , eve teasing, rapes etc till then? I believe I made a huge mistake by looking away, I should have stared them right in the eye and let them know that I am too a human being. But in that moment, I felt sorry about being a girl.
We together need to fight this mentality, We together have to work towards equality so that no girl has to ever feel sorry for what she is.